Day 13 of the Rio games saw Australia win yet more minor medals. But The Falcon does not GAF about silver and bronze when Gold is trading at $1350/oz.
Let's start with the main highlight - which was Usain Bolt completing the triple-double by taking the 100m/200m double for the third straight Olympics - the first man in history to do so. Rain just before the event meant it wasn't the most dynamic Olympic gold we've seen from Bolt. But after running a dominant first 100m he was never going to be beaten and cruised home to win his 8th Olympic gold. Given the Swimming gold deflator is generally thought to be in the realms of 1.5-2 per athletics gold, he'll have to go to another Olympics to challenge Michael Phelps for the title of greatest every Olympian. Still - he is by far and away the greatest track athlete the world has ever seen.
Today's masters of being near enough without being good enough in the Aussie team were our sailors - who took silver in both the 470 and the 49er classes, and our Kayakers. Wallace and Tame took bronze in the Men's K2 1000 - even this was an underperformance as they had finished behind ze-gold winning Germans in the last two World Champs but here were beaten by the Serbs for silver. Turns out heat form is in fact meaningful and this was always on the cards after they dogged it in the heat. In the diving, Michelle Wu could only manage 5th in the Women's 10m Springboard which unsurprisingly saw a Chinese quinella. Say what you want about Communism but it does help your diving ability!
At the BMX we qualified both 2 men and 2 women through to the Semi's. In the Men's the French World Cup leader crashed out leaving Australia's Sam Willoughby as the new gold medal favourite - that usually means a 4th! A shoutout is also due to Ryan Gregson who became the first Australian male to qualify for the Men's 1500m final on the track for over 40 years.
The track descended into farce in the heats of the Women's 4x100m relay, with the US allowed to re-run their heat in isolate after the baton was 'knocked out of their hands by an opponent' in their heat. FFS - harden up athletic officials. Most of the US runners will just be happy they are out of their home country and therefore don't face the risk of being shot on sight by their domestic police force.
Social Media Call of The Day
I wanna see the Shot Putters do the high jump and the High Jumpers to do the shot put.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 35-33-32
2 - GB - 22-21-13
3 - China - 20-16-22
10 - Australia 7-10-10*
*Of the top 10 on the Medal tally, only 25% of Choketralia's medals are gold - the only country with a worse gold to total medals ratio in the top 10 are the cheese eating surrender monkey's.
Kitty Chiller Bullshitmetre
If there has been an individual embarrass themselves more than Kitty Chiller this Olympics I'd like to see it. She has been nothing more than a national disgrace and banning Emma McKeon from the Closing Ceremony just because she didn't call to say she was staying is absolutely unacceptable by any metric. As far as I'm concerned KC can GAGF.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Day 12: The Great White Hope
The Boomers!!!! So long the whipping boys of Men's Basketball the Boomers now have two shots at a medal after destroying bogey team Lithuania 90-64 in their Quarter Final overnight. They will now play the winner of the Yugoslav Derby in the semi's (Croatia or Serbia) to earn the right to most likely face the United States in the gold medal match. Now some might think they are a legit threat of taking the US for gold given the result of their pool game but that is completely taking the piss - they won't beat the yanks - still they now have 2 shots at getting Australia's first medal in Men's basketball.
Our other medal threats in the BMX both finished high up in their seeding time trials and should have no excuses with prime position in their quarter finals- so let's see how they go in what has to be the greatest lottery sport in the Olympics. There was no change in our medal tally on the day and as a result we are dangerously close of dropping out of the top 10 in the medal tally.
Also - not sure if anyone saw the 200m events in the Kayaking and Canoeing last night but what a joke - it would be like having a 20m running race on the track! In the C1 200 there where 4 heats of 6 and the top FIVE in each heat got through to the semi's alongside the fastest 6th placed finished - now that's the type of event The Falcon could compete in at the Olympics!
On a quieter day overall at the Olympics, the highlight was Elaine Thompson doing a 'Usain' in taking the Women's 100/200 double at the track. How she started $3 is beyond me and the Falcon is shattered he didn't participate in this generous offer. The favourite was Dutch woman Dafne Schippers who try as she might couldn't run down the 100m champ after conceding her a start around the bend. She had to settle for silver.
Social Media Call Of The Day
Doing a 1st aid course today,had to write down signs and symptoms of choking.I wrote Olympic finals,wrong answer apparently.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 30-32-31
2 - GB - 19-19-12
3 - China - 19-15-20
10 - Australia 7-8-9
Our other medal threats in the BMX both finished high up in their seeding time trials and should have no excuses with prime position in their quarter finals- so let's see how they go in what has to be the greatest lottery sport in the Olympics. There was no change in our medal tally on the day and as a result we are dangerously close of dropping out of the top 10 in the medal tally.
Also - not sure if anyone saw the 200m events in the Kayaking and Canoeing last night but what a joke - it would be like having a 20m running race on the track! In the C1 200 there where 4 heats of 6 and the top FIVE in each heat got through to the semi's alongside the fastest 6th placed finished - now that's the type of event The Falcon could compete in at the Olympics!
On a quieter day overall at the Olympics, the highlight was Elaine Thompson doing a 'Usain' in taking the Women's 100/200 double at the track. How she started $3 is beyond me and the Falcon is shattered he didn't participate in this generous offer. The favourite was Dutch woman Dafne Schippers who try as she might couldn't run down the 100m champ after conceding her a start around the bend. She had to settle for silver.
Social Media Call Of The Day
Doing a 1st aid course today,had to write down signs and symptoms of choking.I wrote Olympic finals,wrong answer apparently.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 30-32-31
2 - GB - 19-19-12
3 - China - 19-15-20
10 - Australia 7-8-9
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Day 11 - Advance Australia Mare
Well all I can say is - thank fkn Christ for sailors! Australia's medal tally finally gained a bit more forward momentum after our water walkers took gold and silver on Day 11. Tom Burton took gold for Australia in the Men's laser, while Jason Waterhouse and Lisa Darmanin in the Nacra 17s. I'm going to put my hand up straight away and say I know SFA about sailing and haven't watched a second of it so all I can add is - GO YOU GOOD THINGS!!!!! However, I think our performance of the day has to go to starlet sprinter Ella Nelson - the 22yo who tore her harmstring back in April missed out on the final of the Womens 200m by just 1 hundredth of a second!!! She produced a stirring performance in her semi-final to smash her PB and finish third in a scoching 22.50.
The medal rush in the water masked another horror day for the rest of the Australian team. The lowlight was the Opals - perennial medal contenders in the Women's basketball, who become the 4th team in three days to crash out at the Quarter Final stage of their competition. In true Aussie fashion they had been undefeated in the group stage but when it got to the game that mattered they absolutely dogged it. Pathetic.
#Chokefest2016 continued over at the kayaking where Murray Stewart could only finish 4th in the Men's K1 1000, having entered the final as the fastest qualifier. That wasn't our only 4th for the day as Dani Samuel's grabbed the potato medal in the Women's discus - however that was actually a quality performance and she deserves a commendation - the rest of the team deserves extradition to Nauru - ASAP. That includes Annette Edmonson, who was seen as an outside chance of a gold medal in the Women's Omnium in the track cycling. But as we know by Australian standards - outside chance of gold means missing the podium completely. Jarrod Poort went out to a huge lead in the Men's 10k marathon swim, getting ahead by over a minute at one stage. However, he 'did a Mack' in the back half of the race and collapsed horrifically to completely miss the medals. At least he had a fair dinkum crack I guess.
Finally, the Mountain Goat has been in touch suggesting Usain Bolt is a greater athlete than Michael Phelps. This is the worst call since Jeff Buckley thought it would be a good idea to take a midnight swim. Phelps has a shedload more medals over a much greater time period and doesn't come from a country that has basically ignored drug testing for the last 12 years.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 28-28-28
2 - GB - 19-19-12
3 - China - 17-15-19
9 - Australia - 7-8-9
The medal rush in the water masked another horror day for the rest of the Australian team. The lowlight was the Opals - perennial medal contenders in the Women's basketball, who become the 4th team in three days to crash out at the Quarter Final stage of their competition. In true Aussie fashion they had been undefeated in the group stage but when it got to the game that mattered they absolutely dogged it. Pathetic.
#Chokefest2016 continued over at the kayaking where Murray Stewart could only finish 4th in the Men's K1 1000, having entered the final as the fastest qualifier. That wasn't our only 4th for the day as Dani Samuel's grabbed the potato medal in the Women's discus - however that was actually a quality performance and she deserves a commendation - the rest of the team deserves extradition to Nauru - ASAP. That includes Annette Edmonson, who was seen as an outside chance of a gold medal in the Women's Omnium in the track cycling. But as we know by Australian standards - outside chance of gold means missing the podium completely. Jarrod Poort went out to a huge lead in the Men's 10k marathon swim, getting ahead by over a minute at one stage. However, he 'did a Mack' in the back half of the race and collapsed horrifically to completely miss the medals. At least he had a fair dinkum crack I guess.
Finally, the Mountain Goat has been in touch suggesting Usain Bolt is a greater athlete than Michael Phelps. This is the worst call since Jeff Buckley thought it would be a good idea to take a midnight swim. Phelps has a shedload more medals over a much greater time period and doesn't come from a country that has basically ignored drug testing for the last 12 years.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 28-28-28
2 - GB - 19-19-12
3 - China - 17-15-19
9 - Australia - 7-8-9
Monday, August 15, 2016
Day 10 - You Suck McBain!!!
Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
For team - see Australia. Two more of our teams crashed out of the Olympics on Day 10 in what is quickly becoming every big a failure as the disaster of London 4 years ago. The Hockeyroos ended a horrible tournament without a medal after being bundled out in the Quarter Finals 4-2 by New Zealand. For the first time since 1984 neither our men or women will win a hockey medal. Our Women's water polo team were also eliminated from competition. In true Australian fashion they blew a 5-1 lead against Hungary, eventually losing in a shootout - one of the better efforts in #chokefest2016.
Our mediocrity at the cycling continued in perpetuity with flag bearer and defending champion Anna Mears failing to get through to the medal rounds in the Women's sprint, and Glenn O'Shea - viewed as a great medal prospect, finishing a disappointing 7th in the Men's Omnium. Our swimmer in the Women's 10k marathon was hunting for medals for the first 2-3km, but faded over the second half of the race to finish 16th. She doesn't deserve to be named.
The one highlight was Ella Nelson who put in a huge effort to finish 2nd in her heat of the Women's 200m at the track - and will move on to the Semi Finals tomorrow night. Hopefully she has an outside hope of making the final. Only Raylene Boyle, Melinda GT, and Cathy Freeman have run faster 200s for Australia at the Olympics. Things were not so good for Discus thrower Dani Samuels who was so professional she dumped her first throw into the net! However, she did recover to be one of only 4 athletes to auto qualify for the final. Australia may have another chance at gold in the Men's K1 1000 in the kayaking, with Murray Stewart (who win gold in the K4 in London) through to tonight's final as the fastest qualifier.
Outside of the choking Aussies the highlight of the day had to be the Men's 800m with David Rudisha becoming the first man to defend the gold medal for over 50 years with a stunning display in the last 300m. His Kenyan teammate, Alfred Kipketer set a cracking pace earlier, before Rudisha overtook him in the back straight on the second lap. 1500m champion Taoufik Makhlouti (Algeria) looked the only danger in the home straight but couldn't get near Rushida who won easily to write his name into Olympic history.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 26-23-25
2 - GB - 16-17-8
3 - China - 15-14-17
9 - Australia - 6-7-9
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Day 9 - Good vs Evil
And good wins!!! It was all about the track on Day 9 of the games. And the highlight, in what is likely to be the highlight of the entire games, was Usain Bolt making Olympic history - becoming the first male track athlete to win the same event at three consecutive Olympic games in taking the blue ribbon event of any Olympics - the Men's 100m. Bolt looked to be struggling at halfway after a tardy start, but he soon clicked in to gear and mowed down two-time convicted doper Justin Gatlin (USA) in the back half of the race to win comfortably in 9.81. He looks almost certain to go on and do the 100/200 double for the third straight Olympics.
In an even more stunning result, South Africa's Wayde Van Nierkek broke one of the long standing world records of the track in taking the gold in the Men's 400m. He improved his PB by half a second running a stunning 43.03 to win the race by absolute panels, and take Michael Johnson's iconic record in the process.
Australia continued to be the masters of mediocrity. The highlight was our world champion and hot pre-Games favourites for gold in the Men's hockey - the Kookaburras. They lost 4-0 to the Dutch in the quarters :). These guys are the ultimate factory of sadness - having been expected to win Gold at basically every games since Barcelona, they've only managed it once - in Athens. They are then grand daddies of them all when it comes to choking - good riddance you hacks. To be fair - it wasn't as big a choke as the Kiwi's - who were up 2-0 against the Germans with 5 minutes to go and managed to LOSE 3-2 in normal time!!!! Fair effort that! Our Men's Water Polo team is also out.
We were average at the velodrome as well - Matthew Glaetzer lost the bronze medal in the Men's sprint. At the golf - Marcus Fraser, who had been in the gold medal position after the first two rounds and the bronze after round 3 - also dogged it - collapsing on the last day to fall from 3rd to 45th - L O fkn L. It feels like we are the stage where the only golds we are going to get any more are from the sailing.
Social Media Call of The Day
After South Africa Wayde van Niekerk took the gold and broke Michael Johnston's 400m WR:
As long as he doesn't shoot his partner he's set for life
Medal Tally
1 - US - 26-21-22
2 - GB - 15-16-7
3 - China - 15-13-17
9 - Australia 6-7-9
Further Reading
Thanks to The Alchemist for pointing out 538s excellent article on the world record performance of Almaz Ayana in the Women's 10,000 over the weekend. Worth a read - http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/did-almaz-ayana-break-the-world-record-by-too-much/
In an even more stunning result, South Africa's Wayde Van Nierkek broke one of the long standing world records of the track in taking the gold in the Men's 400m. He improved his PB by half a second running a stunning 43.03 to win the race by absolute panels, and take Michael Johnson's iconic record in the process.
Australia continued to be the masters of mediocrity. The highlight was our world champion and hot pre-Games favourites for gold in the Men's hockey - the Kookaburras. They lost 4-0 to the Dutch in the quarters :). These guys are the ultimate factory of sadness - having been expected to win Gold at basically every games since Barcelona, they've only managed it once - in Athens. They are then grand daddies of them all when it comes to choking - good riddance you hacks. To be fair - it wasn't as big a choke as the Kiwi's - who were up 2-0 against the Germans with 5 minutes to go and managed to LOSE 3-2 in normal time!!!! Fair effort that! Our Men's Water Polo team is also out.
We were average at the velodrome as well - Matthew Glaetzer lost the bronze medal in the Men's sprint. At the golf - Marcus Fraser, who had been in the gold medal position after the first two rounds and the bronze after round 3 - also dogged it - collapsing on the last day to fall from 3rd to 45th - L O fkn L. It feels like we are the stage where the only golds we are going to get any more are from the sailing.
Social Media Call of The Day
After South Africa Wayde van Niekerk took the gold and broke Michael Johnston's 400m WR:
As long as he doesn't shoot his partner he's set for life
Medal Tally
1 - US - 26-21-22
2 - GB - 15-16-7
3 - China - 15-13-17
9 - Australia 6-7-9
Further Reading
Thanks to The Alchemist for pointing out 538s excellent article on the world record performance of Almaz Ayana in the Women's 10,000 over the weekend. Worth a read - http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/did-almaz-ayana-break-the-world-record-by-too-much/
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Day 8 - Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Kim Brennan won Australia's 6th gold of the Rio Olympics with a dominant display to take the Women's Single Sculls in the rowing. Having been unbeaten for 2 years, Brennan's games looked to be in tatters after being beaten in her heat in extremely rough conditions on Day 1. She also looked as if she had to pull out all stops in the semi-final to hold off her main rival Emily Twigg from New Zealand. However the final was a different matter. Brennan raced to the front inside the first 250m and was never headed - holding on for a dominant victory.
Brennan's gold was a shining light on yet another disappointing day for Australia. Flag bearer Anna Meares took the Bronze in the Kieren in the Cycling - a race she easily could have taken gold in. Our male sprinters also disappointed, and the best we can now hope for is Bronze from Matthew Glaetzer. In the athletics, Fabrice Lapierre - who had looked a great shot at the medal, choked big time in the final, fouling twice and putting in a sub standard effort in his one legal jump to fail to go through to the top 8 stage in the Men's long jump final.
#chokefest2016 continued in the pool. The Campbell sisters dogged it in a second straight final, finishing 5th and 7th in the Women's 50m Freestyle in a race Cate was expected to win. In the Men's 1500m, so long owned by Australian, Mack Horton basically died at halfway. Having been in second for a few laps, he completely collapsed in the back half of the race to finish 5th - miles outside his personal best. They say you're only as good as your last race - and your last race was pathetic. In the Medlay relays our Women took silver while our Men took Bronze - it was hilarious to see C-bomb and Cate Campbell put in their best performances of the meeting when all the pressure was off. It just goes to show its all in the mind when it comes to Australian swimming and 95% of them are mentally shot. It was at least good to see them finally admit it, with Cate calling her performance in the 100m the greatest choke of all time. She is right. Thankfully the swimming is now over and we won't be have to put up with any more of their garbage for the rest of the games.
The highlights of the day came on the track, where Mo Farrah recovered from a mid-race fall to defend his gold medal in the Mens 10,000m in a heroic display. In the blue riband for the Women - the 100m, Shelly Anne-Fraser was denied a three peat by fellow Jamaican Emma Thompson. However Fraser managed to go out with her head held high taking the bronze.
Channel 7 Bullshitmeter
Missed the key moment in the Mens 10,000 (Farah falling) as they were showing the long jump. Then after the Aussies were out of contention they just completely ignored the long jump anyway.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 24-18-18
2 - China - 13-11-17
3 - Great Britian - 10-12-7
7 - Australia - 6-7-9
Brennan's gold was a shining light on yet another disappointing day for Australia. Flag bearer Anna Meares took the Bronze in the Kieren in the Cycling - a race she easily could have taken gold in. Our male sprinters also disappointed, and the best we can now hope for is Bronze from Matthew Glaetzer. In the athletics, Fabrice Lapierre - who had looked a great shot at the medal, choked big time in the final, fouling twice and putting in a sub standard effort in his one legal jump to fail to go through to the top 8 stage in the Men's long jump final.
#chokefest2016 continued in the pool. The Campbell sisters dogged it in a second straight final, finishing 5th and 7th in the Women's 50m Freestyle in a race Cate was expected to win. In the Men's 1500m, so long owned by Australian, Mack Horton basically died at halfway. Having been in second for a few laps, he completely collapsed in the back half of the race to finish 5th - miles outside his personal best. They say you're only as good as your last race - and your last race was pathetic. In the Medlay relays our Women took silver while our Men took Bronze - it was hilarious to see C-bomb and Cate Campbell put in their best performances of the meeting when all the pressure was off. It just goes to show its all in the mind when it comes to Australian swimming and 95% of them are mentally shot. It was at least good to see them finally admit it, with Cate calling her performance in the 100m the greatest choke of all time. She is right. Thankfully the swimming is now over and we won't be have to put up with any more of their garbage for the rest of the games.
The highlights of the day came on the track, where Mo Farrah recovered from a mid-race fall to defend his gold medal in the Mens 10,000m in a heroic display. In the blue riband for the Women - the 100m, Shelly Anne-Fraser was denied a three peat by fellow Jamaican Emma Thompson. However Fraser managed to go out with her head held high taking the bronze.
Channel 7 Bullshitmeter
Missed the key moment in the Mens 10,000 (Farah falling) as they were showing the long jump. Then after the Aussies were out of contention they just completely ignored the long jump anyway.
Medal Tally
1 - US - 24-18-18
2 - China - 13-11-17
3 - Great Britian - 10-12-7
7 - Australia - 6-7-9
Friday, August 12, 2016
Day 7 - Soccerwhos?
Day 7 was probably the quietest for Australia so far. However, it ended in tragedy with the Matilda's losing their soccer quarter final to the mighty Brazil on penalties. It all looked so good after Brazil missed their 5th penalty. The Albatross had already declared victory - but the Falcon has seen many a choke worse than this and the Aussies also miss their 5th penalty eventually going on to lose in sudden death.
It was another day of minor medals for Australia - largely at the hands of the old enemy. As a result we have plummeted to 9th in the medal standings (London anyone?) Our Men's cyclists were beaten by team GB in the final of the team pursuit, taking silver. Our women lost the bronze medal race in the Women's team sprint. Our Men's fours in the rowing also took the silver behind team GB, while Kim Brennan progressed to the final in the Women's single sculls.
There were more minor medals at the track with Australia taking a bronze in the Men's 20km walk behind a Chinese pair. Dane-Bird smith can always hope they are both suspended for doping and he later takes the gold. The highlight on the track came in the Women's 10,000m where Ethiopian Almaz Ayanna obliterated the world record in a truly stunning performance. Given the record was previously held by a Chinese woman busted for doping questions are already being asked.
It was a quieter day in the pool for Australia - the Campbell sisters both finished second in their semis in their Womens 50m Freestyle semis and qualified for the final. The way our meet is going they'll finish 4th and 5th in the final. Mack Horton qualified 4th fastest for the Men's 1500m final tomorrow morning. The big shock was defending champion Sun Yang bombing out and failing to qualify. Apparently he was 'sick'. The bigger shock was Michael Phelps being beaten in an individual event - he finished in a 3-way tie for silver (yes that's right a triple dead heat for second!!!) behind a Singaporean swimmer of all things.
The Boomers bounced back from the loss against the USA to flog China.
Medal Tally
1- United States - 20-13-17
2 - China - 13-10-14
3- Great Britain - 7-9-6
9-Australia - 5-6-7
It was another day of minor medals for Australia - largely at the hands of the old enemy. As a result we have plummeted to 9th in the medal standings (London anyone?) Our Men's cyclists were beaten by team GB in the final of the team pursuit, taking silver. Our women lost the bronze medal race in the Women's team sprint. Our Men's fours in the rowing also took the silver behind team GB, while Kim Brennan progressed to the final in the Women's single sculls.
There were more minor medals at the track with Australia taking a bronze in the Men's 20km walk behind a Chinese pair. Dane-Bird smith can always hope they are both suspended for doping and he later takes the gold. The highlight on the track came in the Women's 10,000m where Ethiopian Almaz Ayanna obliterated the world record in a truly stunning performance. Given the record was previously held by a Chinese woman busted for doping questions are already being asked.
It was a quieter day in the pool for Australia - the Campbell sisters both finished second in their semis in their Womens 50m Freestyle semis and qualified for the final. The way our meet is going they'll finish 4th and 5th in the final. Mack Horton qualified 4th fastest for the Men's 1500m final tomorrow morning. The big shock was defending champion Sun Yang bombing out and failing to qualify. Apparently he was 'sick'. The bigger shock was Michael Phelps being beaten in an individual event - he finished in a 3-way tie for silver (yes that's right a triple dead heat for second!!!) behind a Singaporean swimmer of all things.
The Boomers bounced back from the loss against the USA to flog China.
Medal Tally
1- United States - 20-13-17
2 - China - 13-10-14
3- Great Britain - 7-9-6
9-Australia - 5-6-7
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